Note let XXI: To Me

Isabel Larry stood at the crossroad of Pearle Street and Dudley Road. She walked the four mile journey. She had to. She couldn’t breathe in the tram any longer. Why would she stay in the tram anyway. She couldn’t control her tears. They were just falling off her fake lashes unto her lace collared, plum mid-length dress. Her makeup was all smeared. A sight to behold. All the tortuous words came back to her while she waited at the crossroads. “You good for nothing girl. Just like your couch-potato father, you will never amount to anything in this life”, she heard her grandmother’s angry voice with her mother passively looking on seemingly giving her silent agreement to Nanna. And what had she done? “I only failed the nursing entrance exam”, she mumbled to herself. “Well, this would be the fifth attempt”, she continued her self-talk. How could her mother and Nanna say all those hurtful things about her, about her father. They already knew the music teacher had thrown her out of the session singing group with the remark, “never try to sing in public, you are just awful” and now this.

What would she do? What could she do? “Taxi, taxi”, she was near screaming. A black taxi pulled up sharply next to her probably surprised at her shrieking hailing noise. “Take me to the Nursing Entrance Board”, she said authoritatively. With a silent nod the driver spinned the car around and drove to the destination.

“Hello, how can I help you? We are about to close so you have to be quick”, said the receptionist. “Can I have registration forms for the entrance exam next term?”, said Isabel. Holding the admission papers in her hand, Isabel made a commitment to herself, “I am good for something and I will prove it to myself”.