Notelet VIII: Just The Way You Are

"Clarissa Lilabel Coleman", shouted her mother from downstairs. No answer. She heard heavy footsteps coming her way. Quick, she had to hide the pills she had secretly been taking. "Clarissa what on earth are you doing staring at the mirror blankly, her mother questioned her? Phew! That was a narrow escape. If her mother had caught sight of the pills, more importantly if her mother knew that she had been taking the contraband pills to loose weight her mother would have given her the 90 degrees punishment. What would her mother say about her forcing her breakies and dinner out so she wouldn't have to put on extra weight? The thought of disappointment on her mother's face would kill her. She could never find out. "Come down stairs for a minute to help me select the new colour scheme for the kitchen", her mama spoke interrupting her inner dialogue.
Clarissa was a straight A student. Always where she was meant to be but lately with the introduction of the twins from up North to her South-End-on-Sea school she had been ruffled. Raphaela and Raquelle seemed like goddesses to both the staff and students alike. They were the perfect size, seemed to know everything so hogged class discussions and wielded such influence on folks. They were spell-binding. Clarissa was not an outcast. On the contrary she had her close group of friends but nowadays she was discontent. She wanted what R- squared as the twins were nicknamed had. The more she observed them, the more she wanted what they had. "I have to have what they have at all cost" she would repeat to herself.
One day, just after recess when the hallways were typically empty, she hurried to her locker to get her Algebra textbook. It was at this point she saw Raquelle popping some pills into her mouth. At first she thought, "she must have a headache". Then she got in closer view and saw the pills container. The purple pill container looked strange. Clarissa was no medical personnel but something told her it was not paracetamol, panadol or ibuprofen. "Does she have a strange disease", she thought to herself? "Hey Clarissa! Hi Raquelle, are you alright? Should I call the nurse? Girl, am fine, responded Raquelle couldn't be better now that I have taken my pills". Clarissa didn't know how to sensitively approach the subject so out she came with it, "are you sick, like really sick?" Raquelle knew exactly was she was trying to ask and burst out laughing hilariously. "I am not sick, 'rissa. Let's just say I am managing my figure." "Managing your figure with what?, Clarissa asked with confusion written all over her face. These, duh. Raquelle had just introduced her to some strange looking pills that she promised on the life of her mother that it worked miracles to keep one's body weight in check. She was a convert.
There was not a day gone past since then that she didn't take her pills and puke out at least two meals. The twins didn't tell her the pills were addictive. There were times she tried to stop taking them as she felt so weak but just couldn't. She was losing weight indeed as promised but way too fast. Oh God how does she stop? She'd gone 3 dress sizes down in 3 months. Her life seemed like a roller coaster as she barely lived each day. She'd seen the looks of concern on her mother's face as well as her dad. She was concerned. Life for her was now a chore. No energy, little concentration and the inability to hold anything down. Not for long anyway. What would she do. She'd be skin and bones before she realised it. How did the twins not look phased?
Six months had passed and she was scared for the life of her that she would die. She gathered up the courage one Saturday and off to the local chemist she went. She needed to find out any information there was about the purple pills. "Hey Clarissa! How's your mom and pops, Mr Devi asked in his upbeat way". "Fine thanks", Mr. Devi. "Mr Devi, can you keep a secret"? Mr Devi looked at her wondering. "If it's about you of course". "I need to find out what these pills are that I have been taking". At that point she gave Mr Devi the pills. At once Mr Devi went red and stuttering his speech in a cold way said, "w-h-o g-a-v-e y-o-u t-h-e-s-e"? She went silent. "Answer me girl", he scolded. "I got them from a friend", she replied. "Silly girl do you know what this is"? He was looking angrier with each passing minute. "This is a lethal dosage amphetamine". "Why are you taking them"? "What for"? Again she went mute. "You better answer me before I call your mama"? "I wanted to lose more weight like the new twin girls so I took them. They gave it to me to take so I could be just like them". "Girl didn't anyone tell you that those girls are trouble. They are into all sorts of drugs, men who could be as old as their dad and booze". "Rissa, I expected better of you, way better". "You were beautiful just the way you were". Mr. Devi's disappointment in her went to the core of her more than any stronger words or punishment could.

She left Mr. Devi's shop with that line resonating in her, "you were beautiful just the way you were".

You are quintessentially special,
Love Abba

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